6/22/2016

Positive over negative



As a mother you want the best for your children. Maybe some mothers would disagree as to what exactly ‘the best’ is but I imagine that there would be more common ground than there would be areas of disagreement. If you had the opportunity to give your child three gifts I think it would be safe to say the majority of mothers would choose good health as one of their gifts to bestow on their children.

I have heard people say that you do not always appreciate your health until it is gone, I am not entirely convinced by that logic. When I was out recently I passed a group of teenagers smoking, and it made me think about why people still smoke in this day and age. I find it hard to believe that there is anybody that doesn’t know about the dangers of smoking. Knowing all about the health risks, you have to ask why do people still smoke?

When I pointed this out to a friend they told me about the lengths another mother, whose child attends the same playgroup, had gone to in order to get their partner to stop smoking. They started by simply asking their partner to stop. When the partner said no they then started to reason with them. They told them apart from the obvious health risks that they were fed up ‘kissing an ashtray’. This failed to do the trick. They then upped up their game - they decided to play dirty. They bribed their children so that they would continually harass their partner into stopping smoking, even feeding the children lines to use. Unfortunately, this was still an epic fail. Wearing them down was not working, all it was doing was causing friction in the relationship.

They then took advice from someone who had successfully given up smoking. They decided to take a 360 turn in the approach they were taking. Instead of coming at the situation from a negative perspective, they decided instead to be positive and encourage their partner. They offered their partner possible solutions and encouragement instead of focusing on the problem. They researched (substitute research with googled), how other people had managed to successfully quit.

After talking it through together they opted that their partner would try using an e cigarette. Again they did their research, both online and speaking to people directly about their experiences before coming to a decision. When it came to choosing which e cigarette to buy they went with a model and brand that they had heard positive things about. They also took the decision that if their partner did lapse for whatever reason and have a cigarette both sides would try to remain positive and supportive.

This all got me thinking, should I interfere or help (depending on how you look at it) with friends and family who still smoke? Should I only get involved if directly asked or if it directly affects me? Does something as unhealthy as smoking make it a duty for you to intervene? 

Just today I saw another positive news story about e cigarettes in a newspaper. It has all began to make me think that it might be worth positively trying to help my loved ones kick the filthy habit that is smoking. Maybe if I blog about it, it might help them take the hint that it is time to quit.


- This is a collaborative post.

6 comments:

  1. hey jenna myself and hubby have never ever smoked and as you have children you hope they follow suit and react to smokers and the smell.well our 21 year old hates it completely and our 6 year old and 12 year oild cant stand it at all and all our friends bar 1 person smokes .our eldest who is 19 does smoke but weirdly growing up hated it and what it meant but a friend offered him 1 one day and now he struggles to stop,we have tried the hard options of if we smell it your out,your clothes smell i am not washing them even the sibling telling off too but at the moment hes struggling.hes been to clinic and tried patches and a pen which he inhaled but then stopped as he said it was boring.he now has a car and with a car invloves lots of bills that he never had before so now he has come to us and said he is trying to stop so i hope he does even though it may only be 1 or 2 a day,ill be keeping fingers crossed its soon

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  2. Ive never smoked and i hope my children never do too x

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  3. I smoked for over 30 years
    Now have an e-cig
    I agree with the positive spin on things and not bullying tactics
    It's so difficult to give up and relapse is inevitable but positive reinforcement is invaluable

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  4. I smoked for over 30 years
    Now have an e-cig
    I agree with the positive spin on things and not bullying tactics
    It's so difficult to give up and relapse is inevitable but positive reinforcement is invaluable

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  5. I've been a light smoker for a long time and I find that when I'm hassled I'll do it all the more, I keep considering quitting and I think I'm getting closer to making that decision, but I hate being told what to do.
    I don't think any sort of reinforcement, positive or negative, would work with me, I have to make my own mind up, but I can see how the positive reinforcement is so much better.

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  6. Best approach, I think e-cigarettes are very beneficial with compare to original cigarette. E-cigarettes are money saving and not bad for the health of smoker. I think original cigarettes are affected on your health. I think this is important information for everyone. My suggestion is that every smoker should use e-cigarette. Thanks for sharing this information. Electronic Cigarettes Australia

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