Why I chose to be a stay at home Mum

I never thought I would be a stay at home Mummy. 

I have always loved the idea of staying at home with my son but I also knew that money would be tight. I wanted to go back to work to bring in the extra income so we could have the treats, the days out and the holidays. 

That is what my head told me but my heart felt something else all together.

On maternity leave with every month that passed by I felt more and more anxious. The thought of leaving Noah whilst I went back to work was painful to me. Even though I was only going back to work part time and leaving Noah with his Nan it still didn't bring me much comfort. I still had that mothers guilt

Perhaps I would of felt a lot better about the situation if I was going back to a job that I liked but in honest truth I hated it. It was always a very unprofessional environment and at times nasty place to work. 

When I announced to my employer that I was pregnant nothing changed in my terms of job role in fact I felt like I was asked to do more. This I didn't mind as I did like to keep busy but I didn't appreciate being told to go up 6ft ladders at 7 months pregnant. When I mentioned that I wasn't happy about doing this as it was unsafe for myself and the baby they would make snide remarks and talk about me behind my back. You can imagine how that made me feel, especially with all the pregnancy hormones brewing up inside me. It's ridiculous because I wasn't asking to be treat special because I was pregnant I just wanted to be treat in a fair and safe way. 

At one point they were understaffed so I was over worked, not given adequate breaks, or a place to sit, my ankles swelled and I had dizzy spells. I went to the doctor and he took one look at me and signed me off work due to exhaustion. On my return to work they had the nerve to issue me a disciplinary and demoted me. This is just a few of the examples of the misconduct I experienced while I was pregnant, just the tip of the iceberg.  

I knew from the beginning that when I returned to work I only wanted to go back for three days a week. I had discussed this numerous times with the management, during pregnancy and throughout my maternity leave. They knew what days I could and could not work and It seemed like everything was agreed on so I went ahead and arranged Noah's childcare. 

Now lets fast forward an entire year. A couple of days before I was due to go back to work they called me in for a meeting. I assumed that it was just to clarify everything and to be given my rota but I was wrong. The management had gone back on everything that we had agreed and put me into work all the days I said I couldn't do. You can imagine my disbelief after a year of thinking this had all been agreed to. They led me to believe everything was fine and then decided to throw a spanner in the works just days before I was due back. 

They said they couldn't agree to my flexible working request because they were low staff which I don't think is actually a legal reason to decline. When I told them I couldn't work those days (just like I had been saying for the past year) they said the only thing they could offer me was the controversial 0 hour contract. These contracts are a nightmare which the government are actually trying to ban! It would basically mean that one week I may of been working three days and others I wouldn't be working at all. This just wouldn't work for us as a family for numerous reasons. Firstly we need to know how much money is coming in each month as we have a baby, bills, car and a new mortgage to pay for. Secondly Noah, the childminder and I all need structure and being told a day before that we are at work the next day just was not going to work. 

Taking all these factors on board I was left with no option but to quit. I feel like it just wasn't worth it. Personally I think they knew what they were doing. I don't think they wanted me to go back and wanted to push me into resigning which they have accomplished. 

To be frankly honest I don't really care because the weight that lifted from my shoulders on the day I quit was immense and I feel it's the best decision I could have made. The only regret I have is that I wish I had of taken this further because I feel like they have gotten away with every wrong that they did. But anyway I've said good bye to the only aspect of my life that caused me stress and upset and I feel like that chapter is now closed.

I've traded all that in for something priceless. I now get to spend all my days at home with my son. I am able to spend every morning, afternoon and evening with him. Playing games, reading books, cuddling up. I'm getting to see him reach all his milestones which I probably would of missed if I went back to work and it's incredible.

Not only that but I now have more time to spend on the things that I enjoy to do. I am able to dedicate more time to the blog, take part in more blogging opportunities and focus on what direction I want to take it in. I am cooking and baking more which is great because I feel like I am improving. There are also a dozen DIY projects around the house that I am tacking too.

I am sorry that I rambled on but I feel like this blog post was a sort of therapy for me. By writing and publishing the post I feel like I have got it off my chest and let it go and I feel fantastic. 

So yes, I am now a stay at home Mummy and I'm loving it!  


  1. Awww lovely. I wrote a similar post just the other day on why I didn't return to work after having a baby. http://ourseasidebaby.blogspot.co.uk/2014/10/why-i-didnt-return-to-work-after-baby.html
    I have a 16 month old boy and love being a SAHM too. It can be hard work but all so worth it :)

  2. Good for you! Looks like you made the right decision for you and your family. I've also quit my job recently to be a SAHM (see here if you're interested: http://bit.ly/1oyshxd) & starting a new journey. Yay for us :-) Good luck xx

  3. Wow, you sound like you made a lucky escape, they should definitely be named and shamed, and you should take it further! So lovely you'll be a stay at home mummy though, I would love to do the same :)
    Emily xx

  4. Sounds an absolutely horrendous place to work, the way they have treated you is appalling! I would take it furtherr, sorry you had to endure it all. Those nasty pieces of work deserve a punishment. But it's great you can be at home with Noah x

  5. Your workplace sounded awful! Well done on making the decision thats right for you, and dont let anyone make you feel bad about it.
    I am so glad I chose to be a SAHM xx

  6. Sounds like you made the right choice, go you!!

  7. Jesus, I know exactly how you feel, I worked at a care home full time for 5 years, to go onto bank staff and not get offered any shifts for a whole year! Good on you girl and if I was you id take it to union xxx Rose-marie

  8. Wow what an awful experience! You're doing the best for you - you don't get this time back! You can still take it further - I'd go see someone about taking the case to court - you've clearly been pushed out! I remember where ou said you work and a big company like that should be ashamed xxxx

  9. I don't blame you for not wanting to go back it sounds like an awful place to work, most places have an HR department that wouldn't have let all that happen but some companies seem to get away with it. It might be worth seeing if you can get some legal advice, if you had anything in writing or emailed correspondence you might have a case. Anyway at least you're in a happy place now! You're better off out of there and spending every minute with your little boy! X

  10. Sounds like you had a lucky escape! You should also go to citizens advice bureau because they have been totally unfair and what they have done is illegal.

    I can't imagine going back to work so what a lovely thing for you to do :) enjoy Noah! Xx

  11. you definitely made the right choice for you and Noah - and you are so much happier since you did xx

  12. Sounds like the best thing you ever did leaving that place
    Great for you all